There are no calendars for Bereaved Mothers

As the anniversary of Cole’s passing nears, and I struggle deeply with the painful memories of watching him slip away, these words ring true. I see the world going on without me, and most times feel like it’s a world I don’t fit in anymore anyway. I have to hold onto hope that somehow it will get better down the road. That somehow, I will make some good come of the rest of my life and honor Cole’s legacy in the way he would want. Most of all, I just try to get through each day, my heart and my soul are still shouting, WHERE IS MY CHILD? WHY ISN’T HE HERE? No amount of time makes his absence make sense to my heart.
Loved and Missed. Forever #ColeStrong.

rememberingrylan

With my son’s one year mark closing in, I am reminded of exactly how short lived our time here on earth really is. I can’t believe a whole year has almost come and gone, That’s 365 grief-stricken days since my Husband and I lay in his hospital bed with my head on his rattling chest as he struggled to breathe and we said our final goodbyes. Holding his little hands in mine and wiping the tears steadily falling from my eyes away with his tiny fingers. I had so much I wanted to say to him, but so little time to say it. I just kept telling him over and over again how sorry I was, how much I love him, and how we would be together again soon.

Most days I feel as though the world is moving on without me. No matter how much time passes, It’s like…

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